READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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