we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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