sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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