"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
