why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
