He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think a kid would responsible me up
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
