..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
why do cheetos always look like penises
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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