would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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