It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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