yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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