Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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