If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
