Whod you bang
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
