He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
