so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
