We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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