bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
