Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
