i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
