this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
