U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
