I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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