that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
