well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
