Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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