Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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