We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he thought i was a dude.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
