i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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