I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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