Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
