Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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