I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
