whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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