Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
