Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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