this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
