Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
