ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Is this like a preordered booty call?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
