Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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