just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
