There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
