these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
