I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Terrible idea I love it
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
