Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The uberlube is also flammable
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
