So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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