I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
