I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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