she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
