she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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