Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i think i just lost a toe
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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