??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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