And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
