If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize