He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
