I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
