Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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