I wanna passion pit in your ass
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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