Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
is that a dick in a sweater?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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