dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wish i was in the wii world.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
