you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
