Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
