woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
