Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
