She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
