Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
