so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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