don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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